会话原则下的文化因素(5)

Respectfulness means to respect oneself and appreciate others, and to show awareness of another person’s face. One peculiar example can be found in the Chinese and the English–speaking people’s different ways of address. In recent years, the trend of many English-speaking people has been to address others by using the first name, even when people meet for the first time. This applies to people of different age and different social status. For example, many college students call their professors by their first names. The professors do not regard this as a sign of disrespect or familiarity, but rather, as an indication that the professor is considered affable and has a sense of equality. Also, it is not at all uncommon to hear a child calling a much older person “Joe, Ben” etc. This, of course, is quite counter to Chinese custom. One can imagine the reactions of adults of a child were to call a grandparent by his or her first name, or a student to do the same in calling a teacher. A quick reprimand, and possibly even a spanking for the child, would be sure to follow.

Modesty, which is regarded as a kind of virtue by Chinese, means to belittle oneself and praise others. To English-speaking people, praise is to be accepted, generally with a remark like “thank you” or “I’m very glad to hear that”. It is assumed that the compliment is sincere; therefore, there should be no show of false humility, no pretended modesty; To Chinese, however, the customary reply to a compliment would be to claim that one is hardly enough or that success was more a matter of luck or some other circumstances. Acceptance of a compliment would imply conceit or lack of manners, and the Chinese generally murmur some replies about not being worthy of the praise. This also explains why in some westerners’ eyes, the easterners are inferior, hypocritical and insincere. So it would not be unusual to hear an American woman talking about how hard her husband works and how well he has done, about all the promotions and honors that he has received. She might do the same about her children. But in China, this would be considered bad taste: one simply does not praise members of one’s own family in front of others. Another example of a Chinese taboo is complimenting a man on his wife’s looks. Many Chinese, especially, those beyond their youth, would regard the remake “You have a lovely wife” as almost indecent. Yet the same compliment would be considered perfectly natural and even highly appreciated by westerners.

Attitudinal warmth means the Chinese seem to show much concern about the other people. One typical way for the Chinese to show care is to ask other people ages income, or material status. For example, “How old are you?” “How much do you make?” “So you’re divorced? What was the reason? Couldn’t you two get along?” All of these aspects are considered as privacy on which English–speaking people place a high value. The English have a saying “A man’s home is his castle”, meaning a man’s home is sacred to him; no one should come inn without permission. It is also with his life and personal affairs. So these questions are considered prying into an individual’s personal life, which is another form of invading a person’s “castle”.

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