On the Differences and Similarities of Marriage between Chin(2)

mother cannot leave the room in which she gave birth. Her mother-in-law or her natal mother or sister-in-law brings her food to her. The cultural meaning of this is to play down the significance of childbirth. But in fact it also reduces the new mother’s workload, giving their bodies a chance to recover after childbirth. The custom of confinement is still common today, but the fear of angering the spirit has weakened, and young people do not know the origin of the custom, merely that it is a necessary measure in order for the mother’s heath to recover.

The treatment of new mothers during the period of confinement depends on the economic condition of the household.

After land reform in the 1950s, the household had more land and the government promoted the idea of male and female equality. So women were mobilized to take part in more labor activities, and many women also began to go to the fields to plant and harvest. During the collective period, in which income was distributed according to work points, most able-bodied women were taking part in agricultural and other production activities. However, changes in women’s roles in production did not lead to corresponding changes in the division of labor between women and men regarding household duties. Rural women still carried out all the household tasks that were traditionally regarded as women’s tasks. Thus they had mot only to earn work points to feed their families, but also to undertake the tiring tasks of feeding and clothing the whole family. Some women, finding they too busy, would task their husbands to help look after child or cook. But other Villagers would laugh at men who often did these tasks. Even in the 1990s, pouring out the chamber pot was still the wife’s task. In general wife would only ask her husband to “lose face” and the wife would become the topic of others’ gossip.

3.1.2 Traditional Roles of Husband in America

The biblical idea about husband is that husband is the head. He is the ultimate authority within the home for all decisions. God asks a man to be the head of the family doesn’t mean a woman is looked down on. However vice, the Lord’s will is, a man must take the mail responsibility of a family. Husband is the head that means be is the leader, provider and protector in the family. The husband feels a strong sense of responsibility to make money and provide what is needed for the family. The husband has also traditionally been seen as the disciplinary of a family and he has the responsibility to make to final decisions for their home. A wise husband will seek his wife’s opinion and respect her opinion even if he must decide against her opinion. The husband is to love the wife, provide for her, and protect her.

3.2 The Effect of Educational Traditions

The differences of cultural traditions are the roots of the differences of educational traditions, which make the differences of cultural traditions exist and strengthen. Our traditional culture has considered the Confucianism as the leading place since Chun-Chill. Tone in with people and society’s relationship has already dominated the execution of education. The educational

tradition created by it has been controlling people’s thought. However, the western educational traditions pay more attention to people’s development and ability’s cultivation. This

characteristic also has a long historical process. Special education on the history of Chinese parents, with the noble spirit of molding people with outstanding works to inspire people, and Chinese history and culture deeply influenced by the tradition of every family. In the United

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States the family and moral education, religion played a role should not be underestimated. In modern society, parents still hope that God has always been common in the isolated heart of the unity of mankind together.

In fact, there are also many similarities between Chinese and western educations. As a

tradition, there is no one better or worse. Which was born in a given cultural background and it were the products of certain cultures. Only in the original soil that can judge its degree of

suitability. The educational traditions of the soil mostly are complemented in many aspects, and borrow ideas form each other to perfect continually.

3.3 Influences of Economical Factors in Marriage

Research strongly and consistently indicates that marriage is a wealth building institution. Married people typically earn and save more than their unmarried counterparts. And it is not just the joining of resources and energies that create this financial benefit, but the permanence of marriage itself. The wealth accumulation in cohabiting situations is far below what is typically is in marriage,

With cohabiters more closely resembling the earnings and savings of sings of singles. While the poverty rate for children linings in married households is about 6 percents, it is 31 percents for children in cohabiting homes, much close to the 45 percents for Children living in single parent families.

3.3.1 Affluent Economy in America

The major effect of the economy on marriage relates to how many women work outside the home and the necessity for them to close. Today’s high cost of living in America forces many wives (even those who prefer not to work outside the home) to work outside the home. The constant message from advertising is that the family needs more material things in order to be happy. And because of the development of their lift, the higher level of their needs, they are aware of being in rich are the way if making marriage better, they make money for a better life. This causes many married couples to seek higher income levels to afford things that are not essential to the family’s needs. Americans are willing to buy things, especially in the bedroom and the car, eat or drink and, in particular, is a banquet, the more “Jewish” and the Chinese people are more willing to spend money on a banquet area.

3.3.2 Affluent Economy in China

Different from American, Chinese people’s thinking of economy is more negative. It is a tradition that the parents who has a son, need to buy a new apartment for the new couple. It is always the man’s duty to buy a house, which is a great burden to men, and to marry price of the house. Not long ago, people in China used to save money for the marriage. To some degree, people don’t want to get married is also because of the high price of the apartment. Right now with the new policy of the government, more and more Chinese people feel like extent credit to pay for the house. That also encourages the couple to stay in marriage and both work outside. Chinese people usually do budgets are more conservative, while the United States budget is relatively close “to the limit”, and often have the tendency of consumption over budget (with the United States will be a substantial use of credit cards also have relations).

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3.4 Tolerance Levels

Marriage is not an end of one’s life but a new life just starts, is not a death of one’s single life but a life, which need to continue. With those many problems in marriage, people would take different ways to solve it. The holy Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind.”

3.4.1 Better Ability of Tolerance in Chinese Marriage

Chinese women are the most patience women in the world. The thinking of “Marriage woman likes the water which is puling out.” They think after marriage they already an individual; and need to solve her problem by herself. Chinese people have better tolerance is also because they love to pin their desire to achieve in the next generation. Having this hope, to bear an unhappy relationship in a marriage, is not a big deal any more.

3.4.2 Less Marriage Tolerance in America

In American’s character, equality plays a significant role. The realization of being equality is deep in every American’s heart. Compared with Chinese people, they have less ability to tolerate the partner. They never oppress their affection. They know it very clear that as an individual, they have rights to gain equality, even in spiritual or marital. They think more highly of the

romance in marriage, they have higher expectation of the quality of their life. They would not to bear in marriage.

Divorce is more widely accepted; people are less committed to making a marriage work than they were fifty or one hundred year’s age.

IV. Conclusion

When it comes to planning a wedding people often honor traditions, even if they do not fully understand their origin or meaning. Every culture cherishes its own wedding traditions and superstitions. Some of those are closely followed even by those who are normally not superstitious.

The figure of a bride in white is an important element of the ritual of marriage. However, new designs of gown are available so brides today may find themselves attracted to designs that do not look traditional. The symbolism behind the wedding dress, however, has not changed. If the entire community can establish a concept: Love is the foundation of marriage, and marriage should be maintained and developed friendship, family, responsibilities, obligations, good-hearted, such as the Chinese culture of tolerance in good quality, if not love, would also enable the marriage become warm and happy, so that others lamented the marriage was full of romantic love.

Indeed, as the social development and cultural integration of the exchanges and people of the United States recognize the marriage was also a certain subtle changes. However, the

fundamental concepts remain unchanged, because a nation that wishes to live forever, not only have the ability to adapt to the trend of the times and with other ethnic coexistence and common

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prosperity mind and boldness of vision, but more important is to maintain their own culture and the fundamental, maintain their social characteristics.

Bibliography

[1] Diane Johnson Le Marggiage Plume Books 2001.4 [2] H.Norman Wright Communication Key To Your Marriage JIUZHOUPRESS 2005.1

[3] John GottmanTHE Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Three Rivers Press 1999.1 [4] Stephanie Coontz Marriage History Viking Books 2005.6

[5] 井卫华王红欣.《中国社会与文化要略》中国电力出版社 2005年8月 [6] 李信.《中西方文化比较概论》航空工业出版社 2003年1月 [7] 申剑罗晓莉申小辛.《当代家庭婚姻》当代中国出版社 2000年11月 [8] 张喆.《英语人文知识手册》国防工业出版社 2006年6月

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