Unit 4 Marriage
Part A
Pre-listening Task
Questions for Discussion
1. What do you think of marriage? Do you think a happy marriage is the most important thing in
your life?
2. What kind of person do you want to marry? What are your standards in choosing a life
companion?
3. What do you think is crucial for a happy marriage? 4. What usually causes troubles in a marriage?
5. Do you think differences between husband and wife are unavoidable? If you do, could you
suggest some ways for them to deal with the problem?
6. Have you heard of marriage agreements? Do you think a couple should sign a marriage
agreement before getting married? Additional Question for Discussion
Do young men and young women have the same standards in choosing a spouse? If not, why not?
Language Focus
Here are some sentences and structures that you may find useful in discussing the above questions.
? Both men and women consider marriage a very important part of their lives.
? Most men would like their spouses to be young and beautiful. Others consider inner beauty
more important.
? When a woman chooses her spouse, she often puts emphasis on his character / temperament /
education / profession / income / appearance / family background.
? Some young women today consider … of great importance in choosing a boyfriend / life
companion.
? Happiness in marriage does not depend on material wealth.
? Marriages based on mutual love create a happy and harmonious atmosphere in the family. ? Mutual respect and understanding between husband and wife contribute much to a happy
marriage.
? Education is an important condition for a good marriage because a couple whose educational
levels do not match may not have much to say to each other / have constant arguments over family issues, big or small.
? A marriage based on romantic love alone will not necessarily last long, for a sense of
responsibility is also essential to a successful marriage.
? I would marry someone who loves me and cares for me most.
? I would marry someone who is generous / intelligent / ambitious / broad-minded / considerate
/ good-looking / kind-hearted / humorous.
? I wouldn’t like to marry someone who is too money-conscious / stingy / selfish /
hot-tempered / narrow-minded / rude / impolite / possessive.
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? Each individual is unique and differences between husband and wife are therefore
unavoidable / a rule rather than an exception.
? It’s very important for husband and wife to show appreciation of each other / talk and get to
know what his or her partner expects.
? A marriage agreement sounds too practical / lacks romantic flavor / reduces marriage to mere
business.
? I think a written marriage agreement shows how much you and your partner are going to
respect each other’s needs and expectations / promises a harmonious relationship in married life.
? Trouble starts in a marriage when one partner keeps complaining about small things, making
the other feel resentful.
? Constantly criticizing your partner and his or her family gives rise to troubles in / may
destroy a marriage.
? Lack of understanding / tolerance over differences may bring troubles to a marriage / cause a
marriage to fail.
Part B
Listening Tasks
Conversation 1
A Marriage Agreement (Part One)
Word Bank
outline v. to describe briefly with few details 概述 spouse n. a husband or wife 配偶
pet a. denoting a thing that one feels particularly strongly about 格外的，极其的 peeve n. sth. that annoys you 惹人生气的事物 bug v. (American slang) to annoy, to irritate 激怒
article n. a section of a legal agreement that deals with a particular point 协议的条款 pet peeve sth. that you strongly dislike because it always annoys you 格外惹人生气的事
Script:
(Tom and Linda have signed a marriage agreement. Both agree not to break the rules outlined in the agreement. John, a reporter, is talking to them about the agreement.)
John: Tom, Linda, first I’d like to ask you why you decided to write this unusual agreement.
Tom: We found that many problems are caused when a person has different expectations from his
or her spouse. We wanted to talk about everything openly and honestly before we started living together.
Linda: Also we both know how important it is to respect each other’s pet peeves. Like, I can get
very annoyed if others leave stuff — clothing, papers, everything! — lying around on the floor. It really bugged me, so we put that in the agreement.
John: This is mentioned in Article 1: Cleaning Up, isn’t it? It says, “Nothing will be left on the
floor overnight. Everything must be cleaned up and put away before going to bed.” Tom: Then I’ll know clearly what Linda’s expectations are.
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John: I see. What about Article 2: Sleeping? It says, “We will go to bed at 11 p.m. and get up at
6:30 a.m. except on weekends.” I’m sure some people hearing this will think that this agreement isn’t very romantic.
Tom: Well, we disagree. We think it’s very romantic. This agreement shows that we sat down and
talked, and really tried to understand the other person. A lot of problems occur in a marriage when people don’t talk about what they want.
Linda: That’s right. When we disagreed about something, we worked out a solution that was good
for both of us. I would much rather have Tom really listen to me and understand my needs than give me a bunch of flowers or a box of candy.
Exercise 1
Listen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear. 1. Which statement best summarizes the marriage agreement between Tom and Linda? a. It is a set of rules that will restrict their personal freedom to a certain extent. b. It is a set of rules that will enable them to live up to each other’s expectations. c. It is a set of rules that will prevent them from getting a divorce. d. It is a set of rules that will save their marriage.
2. According to Tom, what will give rise to problems in a marriage? a. Different interests. b. Different pet peeves. c. Different expectations. d. Different sleeping habits.
3. What can be inferred about Linda from the conversation? a. She is sensible and well-organized. b. She doesn’t like flowers or candy very much. c. She is too practical to be a good wife. d. She is quick-tempered and domineering.
Exercise 2
Listen to the conversation again and complete the answers to the following questions. 1. Why did Tom and Linda decide to sign the agreement?
Because they wanted to understand each other’s expectations so that potential problems could be avoided and they could live happily together. 2. What is Article 1 about?
Cleaning up. Everything must be cleaned up and put away before going to bed. 3. What is Article 2 about?
Sleeping. Time for bed: 11 p.m.; time to get up: 6:30 a.m. except on weekends.
Conversation 2
A Marriage Agreement (Part Two)
Word Bank
update v. to make sth. up-to-date 更新
make it up to become friends again after a quarrel 争吵后和解 figure out to work out the solution to a problem 想出
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Script:
John: Linda, do you spend a lot of time checking to see if the other person is following the rules?
Arguing?
Linda: No, not at all.
Tom: A lot of couples argue because they don’t understand each other’s expectations. I think we
spend less time arguing than most couples because we both know what the other person expects.
John: What happens if one of you breaks a rule? Tom: Well, that’s in Article 13 of our agreement.
John: Is it? Oh yes, Article 13: Breaking Rules. “If you break a rule, you must apologize and do
something nice for the other person to make it up.” Linda: Yeah, like last time Tom broke the rule of driving. John: What’s the rule?
Linda: The rule is we must ask for directions if we are driving and get lost for more than five
minutes.
John: What happened?
Tom: We were driving to a friend’s wedding, and we got lost. Linda wanted to stop at a gas
station to ask for directions, but I thought I could figure it out.
Linda: Then we drove forty miles in the wrong direction and ended up being late for the wedding. Tom: So I took her out to dinner. I knew what I should do to apologize.
John: That’s very important, I think, knowing how to apologize. By the way, do you plan to
update your agreement at all? What if things change in your life and a rule doesn’t work anymore?
Linda: We’ve thought about that too. Article 14 states that we must review this agreement once a
year and make necessary changes.
John: Well, it was really nice talking to you both. Thank you very much for your time. Tom & Linda: Thank you.
Exercise 1
Listen to the conversation and choose the right answers to the questions you hear. 1. How many articles are probably in Tom and Linda’s marriage agreement? a. 12. b. 13. c. 14. d. 15.
2. How do Tom and Linda feel about their marriage agreement?
a. Linda is not very happy with some of the articles in the agreement. b. Tom thinks some of the articles in the agreement are too strict. c. Both Tom and Linda are satisfied with it. d. Both Tom and Linda are not satisfied with it and they want to make a lot of changes to it. 3. What will happen to their marriage agreement in a year’s time? a. They will review the articles and make changes to update them. b. They will sit down and write out a new agreement.
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c. They will not make any changes to the agreement.
d. They will not need it anymore, as they are both familiar with its contents.
Exercise 2
Listen to the conversation again and complete the answers to the following questions. 1.What is stated in the rule of driving?
It is stated that if they get lost for more than five minutes when they are driving, they must stop and ask for directions. 2. What is Article 13 about? What does it say?
Article 13 is about breaking rules. The article says, “If you break a rule, you must apologize and do something nice for the other person to make it up.” 3. What is Article 14 about? What is stated in the agreement?
It is about reviewing the contents of the agreement. It states that they must review this agreement once a year and make necessary changes.
Speaking Tasks
Pair Work
Debating — Arguments for or against giving first priority to economic status in choosing a
spouse A Sample
Nowadays, some young people give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse. Are you for or against this standard in choosing a spouse? Express and defend your views from the perspectives given in the card below. Topic: Is it right to give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse? Perspectives: 1. From the perspective of a student (positive) 2. From the perspective of a social worker (negative)
Possible Arguments (for reference)
From the perspective of a student (positive)
I think it is very natural for people to give first priority to economic status in choosing a spouse. We all know how important money is. Without money, we can hardly do anything. Lack of money in a marriage will cause problems to the couple. Even though the couple may have
married for love, being always hard-pressed for money, love will soon be replaced by quarrels and endless worries over money matters. If this happens, can they live happily together? So I think it is very important to first consider if your future spouse is able to share the responsibility of supporting a family. If not, just wait.
From the perspective of a social worker (negative)
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