180403 英语学习高级阅读材料(2)

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许多人认为，女性比男性更话痨。但事实上，真正决定健谈程度的并非性别，而是被分享的对象。

Most often, women do use more words when talking about relationships, and men when talking about business, battle, or sports. 不过总体而言，女性在谈论人际关系时话更多，男性则更喜欢谈论商业、战争及运动等话题。

They also unanimously tell me that men like to hear the bottom line first and work up to the backstory details only if they need them, and that women like to “set the stage” before coming to the conclusion.

而且，男性喜欢先听到结论，只有在需要时才会去聆听故事背后的细节；而女性更倾向于埋下伏笔，最后得出结论。

If that is indeed true, then women are likely to experience many men as too laconic and direct, and men are more likely to hear or read only the first part of a long message.

如果确实如此，那么情侣在沟通时，女性可能会认为对方说话过于简单直接，而男性可能常常只会去读到一段长消息的开头部分。 So, do your text messages bear that out as well? 你和情侣的聊天状态是否也是这样呢？

Go back over as many text messages as you need to evaluate this. Count the amount of lines you or your partner use on average to send a text and how those figures change depending on the subject discussed. Ignore those that are simply logistics, like where you’re going to meet, or what you might need picked up for dinner. Just pay attention to those that are important emotional interchanges.

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现在打开你需要评估的这些聊天信息，统计你和对方在沟通时平均发送的字数多少，以及这些数字是如何根据所讨论的主题发生的变化的。注意忽略那些简单的沟通信息，比如你要去哪里、你晚餐想吃什么等等，而把精力花在分析重要的情感交流上。

If you are a more typical male in a traditional male/female relationship, ask yourself how much of a long, emotional text message you actually read from your female partner before you respond, and if your responses are typically shorter than the message you receive. If you are a more typical female in a traditional male/female duo, do you take time at the beginning of your emotionally expressive text to create a backstory before you get to the point?

如果你也属于上述典型沟通模式中的男性或女性，为了让两人更好地沟通，男性可以反思自己读了多少对方发来的长消息，回复是否总比收到的信息短；女性发消息时则可以注意，自己在铺垫要点时，是否可以优化消息文本的开头？ The point here is not to judge, but to compare and contrast, just for information and understanding.

谨记，这种分析并不是要去评判什么，而是希望通过这种对比，加强双方的沟通和理解。

2. Response Time 2.回复速度

When either partner in an intimate relationship sends out an emotional message, he or she may have a different expectation of how soon the other partner should respond. I’ve witnessed many painful altercations between partners when their expectation of response time is different.

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